There's been some life changing events happening around me lately. Okay, so I think that they're life changing. They're rather quite small to normal people. Mostly these changes center around... me finding myself. It's more of understanding my pitfalls and passions. That still seems like a strange thought to me. Maybe I should break this up into a list.
1.) I don't know why I try to be what I am not. Yes, I am crafty. I love all those wonderful craft blogs that teach me to do awesome things. So when I try to emulate that... I crash and burn because... I just don't care as much as everyone else to keep it up. So screw it. I'm writing about what I want to, not what I feel obligated to. I'm not a mother that is a supermom/wife. I am just me, trying to be that person when I don't have to. Though I give immense props to all those wonderful, creative mothers out there! That is just not me...
2.) I feel an incredible urge to travel. All the time.
Get on a plane and fly away anywhere. Everywhere. I often wonder if this is my form of escapism. I want a suitcase of beautiful clothes and travel to the far reaches of the world. I need this. There is something wonderful about climbing into the belly of a steel bird and then stepping out into a place you are vaguely unfamiliar with and then exploring the streets, getting lost, finding a good restaurant, seeing magnificent art... sigh.
Get on a plane and fly away anywhere. Everywhere. I often wonder if this is my form of escapism. I want a suitcase of beautiful clothes and travel to the far reaches of the world. I need this. There is something wonderful about climbing into the belly of a steel bird and then stepping out into a place you are vaguely unfamiliar with and then exploring the streets, getting lost, finding a good restaurant, seeing magnificent art... sigh.
3.) Art is in my soul.
My goodness, that sounds deep. What does it mean? I don't really know. I just know that art is important to me. I have to do something in the art world. But I'm still searching.
4.) I'm a 'fraidy-cat.
It's true! I'm scared of the unknown. No, I'm really scared of changing my habits. I think most people are. I'm scared to even put this in a blog, honestly. But I'm trying to get over my fears.
5.) Oops, I love food.
Seriously, I love good food and I have to learn to curb my enthusiasm. I definitely stuff my gob. I have realized that quality is better than quantity.
6.) I hate my body.
Guess what, I've used the 'I'm a woman' excuse in my head to explain my hatred for myself. It's a crappy excuse. I'm just lazy and need to get over it. I've seen women much more robust than I am and they're so happy. They've learned to accept themselves. I haven't. But I will, don't worry.
7.) My husband loves me.
He's the only one that matters when I dress up or lounge around in my pajamas all day. Him telling me I'm beautiful when I haven't brushed my hair or showered in a couple days is all I need. Want to know something else? He's darn sexy even if he doesn't bother to shave or is dirty from working.
8.) I need to be who I am.
Not what someone thinks I should be or who I think is expected of me. I once had a conversation about 'truth' with a dear mentor of mine. It was the conversation that spurred me into these crazy thoughts. A further conversation months later with a dear friend helped me to understand that sometimes I need help... and I shouldn't be afraid to ask for it.
These are my major life changers and realizations. I realize they aren't in any particular order, or make sense to many people. But who reads this stuff anyway? :) I don't mind. I like being happy and easy going... but I certainly like having things straight forward and in neat little rows. Such a conundrum.
I guess the point is... this blog is going to be an outlet for things I care about. Not that everything up until this post hasn't been, but it felt like a chore sometimes. It won't be anymore! Maybe I will stick to it this time! :p
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